Expressing fears can be one way for a child to cry for help. They strike a sensitive note in parents and generally produce a comforting reaction. If they occur often enough, they may call attention to a more deep-seated insecurity in the child, and parents then may be forced to eliminate unnecessary pressures and stresses on the child. In this way fears in children serve a double purpose.
Fears and being fearful are a normal part of childhood. They express the child’s need for dependency and occur especially at certain times in a child’s development. Nearly always they accompany a rapid spurt in one or more areas of development-in the intellectual, emotional, or motor spheres.
Tamar E. Chansky's wonderful book, Freeing Your Child from Anxiety: Powerful, Practical Solutions to Overcome Your Child's Fears, Worries, and Phobias
This book has outlined for parents some of the sources and the evolution of these fears in 0-10 years old. All parent of children in this age group should read it.
A child’s first fears may be expressed as a heightened sensitivity to strangers, which crops up at several expect able points in the first year. Peaks of stranger awareness and the fear of strangers are the first evidence in babies of their increasing ability to distinguish the important people in their lives. Learning to tell mother from father and from “others” is a major job of infants, and it starts early. By the age of 4-6 weeks, babies recognize fathers and behave differently with them than with mothers or with strangers. By 4 months they become increasingly wary of whoever is not mother or father and try to avoid close contact with that outside person. Even a familiar “other” may create anxiety. All sights and sounds suddenly seem more important. This awareness accompanies a well-recognized cognitive spurt at 4 months.
In 4-month-old babies will look over a mother’s sister or a father’s brother very carefully. After such a lengthy assessment, the baby will begin to cry relentlessly if he is picked up by this familiar “stranger”. Not until his mother or father takes him back will he stop crying. Is this “fear” on the baby’s differences? If a familiar grandmother or grandfather looks him in the face at this age, he will break down into loud, protesting wailing.
At I year of age these same imbalances create new turmoil. For a few months the baby may have been tranquil about strangers and strange situations, But when he stands, is learning to walk, and is cruising around the house, he become sensitive to and fearful of change all over again. A sense of control allows the baby to make choices: Will I walk away? Losing control seems to threaten all his newly found motor skills and the sensitivity that goes with them.
The baby may wake up screaming two or three times a night at this age. The child’s new activities lead to all sorts of unresolved experiences. The frustration left over from the day expresses it self at night, and the fears are a cry for help. Night time fears at the first year are an expect able reaction to the excitement of learning so many new things.
Watch a Video and Learn About the Anxiety Child Program
Please also read my article about Understanding When The Baby Learn About Loving and being Love
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