The job of disciplining a small child is one of the most difficult, but also one of the most important responsibilities of parenthood.The most obvious times necessary for discipline occur in the second year and soon thereafter. By that time, a toddler is getting into all sorts of new, exciting situations. Driven by the excitement of learning, he gets himself caught in more than he can handle. As he builds up to more and more excitement, his eyes dilate, his hands tremble and explore indiscriminately, his legs keep him going from one place to another. From his high of exploration, he will inevitably hit bottom. What about the danger of being overly punitive or of hurting the child physically? Children in the second and third years can keep on pushing too far, testing until you lose control. At the end of the day, when parents are tired and ready for a cozy visit with each another, a child may begin to press the hardest for repeated episodes of discipline. The parents need nurturing too, and may feel like spanking or slapping the child. If that doesn’t work, the tension can build up, until the parent really feels like hurting the child.
One approach is to pick up the disintegrating baby, hold onto him firmly, sit down and rock him calmly and soothingly. As you rock, talk to the child about how upset you both are, and how you both can calm down to have a nice time together. If this reaches the child, it may well break through the upset and you can continue on each others’ wavelength. If you are determined that the provocative behavior must stop, a child usually knows it and falls in with your firmness. If doesn’t, putting him in his room “to cool off” gives you both a chance to collect yourselves. In that way, a parent can help a toddler learn to contain himself, and to learn from the discipline.
Another time at which one can expect breakdowns is when excitement builds up-with the visit of grandparents, or during a visit to a crowded shopping center. Obviously, prevention of a blowup would be infinitely preferable to having to deal with a toddler or a 3-year-old.
Please also read about Learning to share with your child
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