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Parents who choose to space children more than three years apart can find many benefits. By the age of 4 or 5, a child is really ready to participate in the care of a new baby. She can feel the baby belongs to her. She can lean to feed, to rock, to hold, to comfort and to play with the new baby. Once she recovers from the initial disappointment that the new baby isn't her own age and her equal in the games she's planned, she can begin to participate with her parents in the game of learning about a ney baby and watching the baby achieve each new developmental step.
The other day, 5 year old maria came bursting into my office saying. 'Dr. L, you should see my baby walking! He don't fall anymore!! With that, he rushed over to his 11 month old brother and held out his hands to his brother. His brother grinned all over at this attention from his hero. He gratefully and greedily grasped Maria's hands to pull up to stand. Barely balancing, he held tightly to his brother's outstretched arms to teeter across the room. As Maria backed up to lead his brother on, he chortled with delight, "see!! Isn't he great?"
As I watched this elegant example for an older child not only teaching the baby to walk but also passing on to him the excitement learning, I thought to my self, "Isn't a younger child fortunate to have such an opportunity for learning about the thrill of living?" Maria and his brother are not only acquiring learning what it means to be deeply dependent upon each other.
At 4 or 5, a child is naturally ready to care for and teach a smaller individual. One of the the most serious deprivations in our culture is that the children in this 4-7 years old age group so rarely have the opportunity to care for smaller children. In mos cultures around the world, older siblings are expected to be responsible for younger children.
Thereby, they learn the ingredients of nurturing and prepare to be parents when their time comes. A space of several years between children automatically provides this kind of experience for the older child. And for the younger child, the opportunity to learn from and older sibling is a real privilege. Our last child acquired most of his skills and has learned most of his values from the careful, patient teaching of his older sisters. His hunger to learn from them was founded on a kind of blind adoration, which is different from a baby's feelings when parents try to teach the same tasks.
I always have been struck with the eager, longing expressions with which a baby or toddler watches an older child. And I am amazed at the imitative learning that takes place when an older sibling stops briely to teach a small child a new skill
The other day, 5 year old maria came bursting into my office saying. 'Dr. L, you should see my baby walking! He don't fall anymore!! With that, he rushed over to his 11 month old brother and held out his hands to his brother. His brother grinned all over at this attention from his hero. He gratefully and greedily grasped Maria's hands to pull up to stand. Barely balancing, he held tightly to his brother's outstretched arms to teeter across the room. As Maria backed up to lead his brother on, he chortled with delight, "see!! Isn't he great?"
As I watched this elegant example for an older child not only teaching the baby to walk but also passing on to him the excitement learning, I thought to my self, "Isn't a younger child fortunate to have such an opportunity for learning about the thrill of living?" Maria and his brother are not only acquiring learning what it means to be deeply dependent upon each other.
At 4 or 5, a child is naturally ready to care for and teach a smaller individual. One of the the most serious deprivations in our culture is that the children in this 4-7 years old age group so rarely have the opportunity to care for smaller children. In mos cultures around the world, older siblings are expected to be responsible for younger children.
Thereby, they learn the ingredients of nurturing and prepare to be parents when their time comes. A space of several years between children automatically provides this kind of experience for the older child. And for the younger child, the opportunity to learn from and older sibling is a real privilege. Our last child acquired most of his skills and has learned most of his values from the careful, patient teaching of his older sisters. His hunger to learn from them was founded on a kind of blind adoration, which is different from a baby's feelings when parents try to teach the same tasks.
I always have been struck with the eager, longing expressions with which a baby or toddler watches an older child. And I am amazed at the imitative learning that takes place when an older sibling stops briely to teach a small child a new skill
